We have all been there.

Those moments where you're like, "Okay, this situation is getting a little weird," and you either need to escalate or de-escalate a situation.

What do you do?

Well, the great thing is you can actually use your nonverbal communication and body language to truly help influence the situation whichever way you want.

You can use your nonverbal communication and body language to influence any situation.

Let's say you need to bring up your power to balance out the situation. To do that, standing up and owning your strength. The other thing you want to do is face the people you are with head on.

Now you may need to de-escalate a situation. It's really easy to do as well. If you're standing up, don't be in front. Be right to their side. This way the people you are with feel like you have their back. You have their shoulder. You're with them. They're going to feel like you're in agreement with them and most importantly they feel heard.

Once you're by their side (literally), see if you can get them to sit down. Sitting down doesn't just make it visually less of a scene. It actually lowers their energy as well. They're not as strong in a seated position. This is  going to help to de-escalate all of the cortisol responses that are happening biologically in the body when a situation is highly escalated.

When you sit down with them, sit down next to them. If you can get to the point where physical touch is not going to be viewed as odd,  put your hand on their shoulder or touching their forearm. They just need that physical connection.

The physical connection is going transmit your grounded energy to them. Then have them drink water. By having them drink water or tea, it actually makes the mind switch gears. And that's what you really want. We want our mind to get out of fight or flight mode.

Once they've calmed down it is only then that you're gonna be able to actually have a conversation with them. What you want to do is just have them talk and talk and talk and talk because they are having the conflict with themselves more than with you. And it is this internal conflict  that is most likely why the situation escalated. So just have them talk it out, actively hear what they have to say and that's with your ears and with your heart.

These steps will de-escalate any situation and more importantly, it's going to get you back on the relationship track of  discovering what really is the issue and what can you do in the situation to change it.

It also allows you to understand the stories that are at play with them in their subconscious mind because if you are in relationship with these people, personally or professionally, guess what. That story's gonna come up time and time again and you need to be aware of it, to be a good friend and a good fellow human being.

#InfluenceAli Craig